Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Mitt Commits
On Tuesday, Mitt Romney confirmed that he supported President Trump’s plan to seat a new Supreme Court justice during this election year.
“Yes, my friends, even Mitt Romney, the dad you ask when your other Republican dads say no, is going along with Mitch McConnell’s plan,” Trevor Noah said on “The Daily Show.”
“And I know, some people were holding out hope that he would refuse to help the Republicans push through before the election, but for some reason people always forget that Mitt Romney is still a conservative senator from one of the most conservative states. People act like Mitt Romney came into the Senate with a pussy hat on, but, no — he’s only moderate compared to Cinnamon Hitler.” — TREVOR NOAH
“And getting a majority on the Supreme Court is what Romney and other Republicans have been dreaming about for 50 years. On his bedroom wall growing up, Romney had a poster of Superman, a dancing horse and an empty Supreme Court seat.” — TREVOR NOAH
“This morning, the president wrote, ‘I will be announcing my Supreme Court nominee on Saturday, at the White House! Exact time TBA.’ There’s nothing Trump loves more than announcing he’s going to make an announcement. He’s a real TBA-hole, this guy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“I wonder if the reason why they are doing this, why they are revealing themselves to be utter hypocrites, has occurred to Donald Trump? If Republicans thought he was going to win, they’d just wait. But they’re not waiting — they want to do it now, because they think he’s going to lose. I wonder if this has dawned on him yet. ‘Mr. President, we need to make this happen before you’re back at Mar-a-Lago screaming at the housekeeping staff.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“That’s right, 51 out of 53 Republicans are now on board, while the other two stick out like masks at a MAGA rally.” — JIMMY FALLON
“And now it sounds like a vote could be held in just a few weeks. Man, we haven’t seen Republicans move this fast since Men’s Warehouse had a closing sale.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Seriously, you can tell Senate Republicans are loving life right now. They haven’t been this happy since ‘Blue Bloods’ started streaming on Hulu.” — JIMMY FALLON
“It’s pretty wild the Republicans are in favor of Trump’s nominee, and he hasn’t named one yet. Even the people who got engaged on ‘Love Is Blind’ were like, ‘Don’t you want to see who it is first?’” — JIMMY FALLON
“How do you agree to put someone on the Supreme Court before you know who they are? I don’t even pick up a phone call when I don’t know who it is.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (Virtually Nobody Edition)
“During a campaign rally in Ohio yesterday, President Trump claimed the coronavirus poses little threat to young people and said, quote, ‘Take your hat off to the young because they have a hell of an immune system.’ And for once I agree with him — everyone there should definitely take off their hat.” — SETH MEYERS
“Trump said it only affects elderly people. You are 74 — you are elderly. Your diet is Kentucky Fried Chicken. Elderly people with heart problems is you!” — JAMES CORDEN
“[imitating Trump] They say 200,000 people have died, but I haven’t heard from any of them. Raise your hand if you’ve died of coronavirus. See? Nobody.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Well, I think he’s officially done up-playing the virus.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Trump said the virus affects ‘virtually nobody.’ Then somebody in the front row sneezed and Trump hit the floor like he dropped his remote.” — JIMMY FALLON
“After Trump made that comment, doctors and nurses wanted to respond, but they’re currently in the middle of a 4,000-hour shift.” — JIMMY FALLON
“‘It affects virtually nobody.’ How could he say that? Right now my entire staff is dressed like a bunch of welders who went scuba diving.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Fallon pulled out his Trump impersonation for a faux reality competition show, “So You Want to Be a Supreme Court Justice?”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The “Ratched” star Sharon Stone will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show With James Corden.”
Also, Check This Out
Amber Ruffin, a “Late Night With Seth Meyers” writer and breakout star, has a new topical comedy show on Peacock.
Bagikan Berita Ini
0 Response to "Trevor Noah: You Still Think Mitt Romney Is a Moderate? - The New York Times"
Post a Comment