Tessica Brown made possibly the most unfortunate hair care mix up in history. Instead of using regular hairspray on her hair, she grabbed a can of Gorilla Glue spray adhesive. The result was exactly what you think would happen if you coated your head in industrial-strength glue.
Her hair became an impenetrable helmet. She visited a hospital to remove the glue. After a four-hour-long surgery, her head is blessedly glue-free. The secret? Dr. Michael Obeng, who did the procedure, used medical-grade adhesive remover, aloe vera, olive oil and even acetone.
So, if, perchance, you were to grab the wrong can of stuff to put on your unruly hair, well, think twice. Lilia’s Beauty shop can work wonders, but Gorilla Glue? I Don’t think so.
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As if we didn’t have enough to worry about, massive holes have been developing in the Siberian tundra lately, another example of global warming. If you don’t believe we are experiencing global warming, skip this part.
Scientists say this is a result of methane gas being emitted from the tundra. However, they didn’t say why the methane was emitted. I was going to ask Don, the Tuesday columnist why, but I assume he is too busy verifying his thesis that Donald Trump was our greatest President.
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Just learned that talk show host Rush Hudson Limbaugh III has died. I have just one comment: Isn’t his first name strange?
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If you agree we have a global warming crisis, continue. If not, skip to the joke.
My favorite author Yuval Noah Harari writes, “So how relevant are religions such as Christianity, Islam and Hinduism to the global warming crisis? Can they help us solve the major problems of warming we face? To understand the traditional role of the religions in the world of the 21st Century, we need to distinguish between three types of problems:
Technical: How should farmers deal with severe drought?
Policy: As to what measures should the government take to solve the problem in the first place?
Identity: Should we even care about the other side of the world or should we care only about the problems of our own tribe and country?
Traditional religions are largely irrelevant to technical and policy problems. In contrast they are extremely relevant to identity problems, but in most cases they constitute a major part of the problem rather than a potential solution. Perhaps the solution can be drawn from the deep wells of human religions. Maybe the answer has been waiting for us in the Bible, the Quran or the Vedas — ancient Hindu scriptures. However, secular people are likely to react to this idea with ridicule or apprehension. Color me secular.
On the other hand, Hariri treats religion with a jaundice eye and writes, “Holy scriptures may have been relevant in the Middle Ages, but how can they guide us in an era of artificial intelligence, engineering and global warming and cyber warfare? Billions of humans still profess greater faith in the Quran and the Bible than in the Theory of Evolution; religious movements shape the politics of countries as diverse as India, Turkey and the United States; and religious animosities fuel conflicts from Nigeria to the Philippines.”
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Planned Parenthood is a 104-year-old organization and its president, Alexis McGill Johnson, says she is working with the Biden Administration to eliminate the global gag rule, keep medication abortion easier to access and begin the process of rolling back the harmful policies like the Trump birth control rules that essentially allowed employers to force their personal beliefs on employees.
During the presidential primaries, Senator Kamala Harris proposed a law that would protect the rights to abortion nationwide. With her election as Vice President, that concept may come to fruition. But once again such a plan begs discussion over the right of a woman to control her own body as opposed to the concept of many that all life is sacred, and should never be terminated for any reason. If that were the case, one would be advised not to swat a fly or a virus-carrying mosquito nor step on an ant. That’s always a tough call for the right-to-life crowd.
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The old lion, king of the jungle, went to see the jungle doctor about the lion’s problem with insomnia. A flock of birds had settled and were nesting in his mane and were arguing so late at night that he couldn’t sleep. The jungle doctor told him to put a pound of yeast in his pajamas and the birds would go away.
The old lion didn’t believe him, but did as instructed. Much to his surprise, the birds went away. He went back to the jungle doctor and offered to pay him for the solution but the doctor refused to take the payment.
When the lion asked him why he refused payment, the jungle doctor said, “Surely you know that it is common sense that yeast is yeast and nest is nest and never the mane shall tweet.”
Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff, former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the “The Knocking Pen” plus his new book “We Said.” He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com.
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